


DaveKat Week 2020

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Nightmares, adding tags as we go so beware yall, also there is no correlation between the chapters?, and dave says that he does it REGULARLY, caliborn is santa claus????, d;slkfadsfasf, honestly chapter two is such bs, im pushing monkes onto them, im sorry my brain doesnt work, kk scales a fucking wall, kk works at legoland and dave is like eight for au prompt, like its just one prompt per chapter, m o n k e, monke, no monke hate is allowed, references to alternia and karkat blood color nasties stuffs, references to daves bro being a big bitch baby evil idiot, the prompst have nothing to do with each other, there are monke discussions, this fic is literally just my brain shitting out cliches and nothing else, you can hate the fic just not monkes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:41:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25712260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: shenenagaanisdave and karkat do things in a very cliche fashionthat is all
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 7
Kudos: 25
Collections: Davekat Week 2020





	1. Day 1: Alternia

Dave wasn’t a very sound sleeper. His past wouldn’t allow it. He was almost always awoken, panting, heart racing, several times a night. 

This is why he wouldn’t sleep near Karkat.

“Look, dude, I’ll just go back to my room, it’s fine.” He starts to stand, but Karkat pulls him back down by his cape.

“But your room is all the way across the meteor, bulgemunch. Just stay.” He looks at Dave with an expression too fond, and he melts.

“Fine, but no sleeping in the same bed. That’s gay.” Dave reverts back to his old crutch.

Karkat snorts, putting a palm to his face. “Dave, you’re gay.” He pulls out a few blankets, folding them into a pile.

“Damn right,” Dave replies, but then he frowns. “What, so I get to take the bed? This is your room, Karks.” The godtier scratches his head, his eyes flicking between the grey bed and the half made pile on the floor.

“Fuck off, Strider, this is comfier for me than you could ever make on the floor,” he grumbles, situating himself on the pile. 

Dave scoots over to the bed, sitting sideways on it. “Ok, well, night, I guess,” he fumbles, trying to figure out how to fall asleep with another person in the room.

It’s not as though he’s not used to the feeling of being watched. He knows that more than most. But seeing someone fall into such a vulnerable state with him around, it makes him uncomfortable.

“Goodnight, dipshit,” Karkat replies, shifting on his blankets. “You’re not totally terrible, sometimes.”

Dave falls asleep rather quickly, after that.

He wakes to the sound of a soft whimper. Fuck, is that Karkat? He scrambles up, kneeling on the ground next to the pile. Oh. He’s having a nightmare. His face is screwed up in fear, his eyes shut tight. He’s flailing, his limbs getting caught in the numerous blankets.

“Hey, kk, it’s okay, you’re okay,” He whispers, shaking him softly. He slowly wakes up, his eyes focusing.

“Oh, fuck.” he says, rubbing his neck. “It was a nightmare, wasn’t it. Shit, that’s embarrassing.” Karkat says, but Dave shakes his head.

“You wanna know why I didn’t want to sleep here, at first?” Dave says, and the troll blinks at the sudden subject change.

“Uh, sure, whatever,” he says slowly.

“I have pretty bad nightmares too. Like the wake-up-and-vomit kind. About Houston and the game, all of the shit. Didn’t want you to be there for that. ” Dave smiles. “So, I know how shitty they are. It’s not embarrassing, dude. You wanna tell me what it was about?” He speaks in a soft tone, unused to showing weakness.

“Uh, not really, but if I don’t get it out of my system I’ll probably be thinking of it all night, so.” Dave stays silent, but puts a hand on the other boy’s shoulder. 

Karkat takes a deep, shuddering breath. “It was the drones. They were trying to cull me. I was in my hive, hiding under my desk. They were just about to find me when you woke me up.”

Dave smirks. “So, does that mean I saved you?” He means it as a joke, but Karkat smiles.

“Yeah, you really did.”


	2. Day 2: Romcoms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> monke bs

“Gimme the remote, douche,” Karkat stretches, to the best of his ability, trying to take the remote, but your long arms make it impossible. You smirk, holding it high above your head. 

“Fuck, fine, you can watch whatever you want.” He pouts, crossing his arms on the couch. But then he smiles, his eyebrows arching up in surprise.

“Oh, hey, why dont we do, like, ok, what’s the first movie you remember watching?” Karkat’s eyes seem to fucking sparkle with the amount of enthusiasm he has. 

“Uh,” You didn’t have a television. You watched pirated movies, but only a few, you honestly don’t really get the hackerman stuff.

“Or a show, I don’t care. As long as we aren’t watching fucking Spongebob or some shit,” Karkat says. 

“How do you even know what Spongebob is? Did you have it?” You look at him, trying to think of the very first show you watched.

“Uh, I dunno, John sent me a copy of Con Air when we first met at like, nine? You forget I lived on the internet, not on TV.” 

“Fuck you, we’re not watching Con Air. I can’t do that shit again.” 

“Good Luck Chuck. Good Luck Chuck. Good Luck Chuck-” You start to move the cursor over to the movie, but the troll tackles you, making you both roll off the side of the couch and hit the floor with a thump. “Jegus, man, okay,” You pout, wiping non-existent dust off your pj’s.

“Fuck, fine, watch a youtube video, I don’t care.” He plops himself in what he knows is your rightful spot on the couch, rubbing his eyes. 

You pull up an hour long monkey video. You know the tune by heart.

You both stare, mesmerized at the spinning monkeys, the jovial tune playing in the background. When Rose walks in hours later, you barely acknowledge her smirk as she passes by. You are too focused on the monkeys.

When the video finally ends, no outro, just a sudden lack of happy music, you frown, wordlessly going to replay the video, but Karkat smacks your hand. You sit, looking at the very last frame of spinning monkeys. 

“That…” You start, but you swallow. “Was the best thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life.” 

He nods, too overcome by emotion to speak.

You fall asleep like that, sitting next to each other, the last frame of spinning monkeys unmoving on the screen.

This is the best you’ve felt in years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e64CzL3p4wY  
> this is the monke video


	3. Day 3: Trollhood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> karkat is worried abt dave and its big sad tm  
> i am incapable of writing anything other than angst sue me

“Hey,” Dave says through the door, knocking loudly. “Bro, come here, you have to see this,” He yells, startling you. You were just about to settle down for a romcom, Gog damn it. 

“Jeez, I’m coming!” You screech, slamming your laptop lid shut and clambering out of your bunk bed. You wish you had never moved to Texas.

You thought it had been a good idea at the time. It’s near the space station, so you can go back home if absolutely necessary. But, Past You was a moron, and now you live on the floor below a puppet infested shithole apartment, blasting shitty music at all hours of the day.

“Dude, what’s taking you so long, I need to pee!” Dave’s nagging snaps you out of your reminiscing. 

“Fuck, I’m coming!” You fling open the door, and the younger Strider stares back at you, leaning against the doorframe. “Wanna help me with my trollsona?” He stares at you expectantly. Like he expects you to know what the everloving fuck a trollsona is.

“What the everloving fuck is a trollsona?”

“Like, me as a troll. Think furries, but no animal sex.” God, the imagery.

“What the fuck?” You look up at him, bewildered, but he just shrugs. “Whatever, lets go,” You reluctantly push open the door to the stairwell. The Striders have a strange aversion to the elevator, for mystical reasons you don’t understand. You sure as hell aren’t going to ask.

Once you get up to his floor, you watch him put an ear to the door, tentative. “Just making sure Bro isn’t filming, you do not want to see any of that shit.” Is he an actor, or something? On Grubtube, maybe? He slowly creaks open the door,his tongue sticking out a little in frustration. It’s kind of cute, though you would never tell him that.

He pulls you through the living room, putting a finger to his lips. You try not to stare at the piles of puppets and caps strewn about the room, not to mention all the dangerous weapons. 

The truth is, you’ve never seen Dave’s brother. You would be dubious to his existence, if you didn’t hear their training sessions late at night, and see flickers at the edge of your vision. Dave’s only let you into the apartment the front way a few times, mostly dragging you through your bedroom window to his. Your window is just below his, after all.

You don’t know much about human culture, you just got here. Maybe this is how all human ‘families’ are? Kind of creepy.

He drags you into his room, shutting and locking the door behind him. “Ok,” he says, “We’re in the clear. Let me show you some of my designs. First of all, horn shapes have to be penises,” he states, all matter-of-fact. He slides over to his swivel chair, somehow not tripping over the numerous cables lining the floor. 

“What? Penises? Dave, just why?” You groan, sitting on his bed and putting your face in your hands.

“Look, if I have to have that nasty alien worm instead of a penis, then I want some penises on my head, at least,” What. What the fuck.

“Do you really thing I have a worm attached to my body, you xenophobic sack of filth?” You squawk, pushing him off his chair in a fit of rage.

“Pfft, shut up,” he says, smiling. “You know I ain’t no xenophobe, that’s my-” He freezes, before babbling again. “I mean, uh, look here,” He pulls the tab up, a shitty neon blob on the screen. “So, uh-” 

“Nope. Not getting out of this one, Dave,” you start, crossing your arms, a firm expression on your face. “Look. If your bro is a xenophobe, that’s okay. Not that being xenophobic is okay, but as long as you aren’t, then we’re cool.”

He loosens up a bit after that, and you both squabble about random shit for the rest of the evening. It’s interrupted when Dave sits up straight, his back arching.

“C’mon, let’s go to yours,” he says in a tone too serious.

“Fine.” You don’t argue, but you frown internally. What’s going on with Dave’s brother? 

You climb out the window, only slightly scared as you drop down and into your bedroom. You’ve done it too many times, and you haven’t died yet, so. 

“Shit, what’s going on with that other Strider?” You grumble to yourself, closing the window almost all the way. You leave it open a crack at all times, so Dave can come in whenever. The alternative is a broken window, you don’t want that to happen again.

You sit on your bed, frowning at the setting sun. You’re going to unravel the mysteries of the Strider household, if it takes you months.


	4. Day 4: Seasons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> snwo

The snow starts at midday. You and him are curled up on the couch together, your head on his lap. He pauses whatever crappy show you both are half-watching, and points to the window, jumping up. He knocks your head out of his lap.

“What the hell, Strider? I was just getting comfortable,” you grumble, sitting up on the couch. He speeds over to the window, resting his palms on the ledge. He stares out, his eyes practically sparkling. 

“Dude.” He gesticulates wildly to the window, speaking quickly. “It’s fucking snowing. That shit looks so soft, what?” Oh, so he’s excited over the snow. “Have you really never seen snow before?” you say, frowning. He gives you a ‘bitch, please’ look.

“I lived in Houston.” As if that’s supposed to mean something to you. “Do you really think I went to Colorado in the summers or something? Let’s go outside,” He pulls you off the couch and towards the front door.

Once you’re both outside, he leaves you at the doorstep, sprinting out to the snow. It’s really coming down now, must’ve been for a while before Dave noticed, because it’s starting to form clumps on the ground.

Dave grabs a handful of snow, watching it melt in his palms. “It’s wet.” You put a hand to your face, growling softly. This is the man you chose to date, christ.

“It’s frozen water, Dave. Of course it’s going to be fucking cold!” You are starting to shiver, in just your sweater and jeans. Dave is cold too, only wearing a t-shirt, but he’s ignoring it, because snow is apparently worth getting cold over.

“Hey, this is baby’s first snowfall, don’t bully me, man.” He grabs some snow, and throws it straight at your face.

“Oh, you bitch! That wasn’t even a ball! How do I know more about snow than you, there wasn't snow on Alternia! You make a ball, Dave!” You pack your snow into a tight ball, holding it up for him to see.

He smirks, grabbing more snow. “I’ll be sure to do better this time,” he says. 

“You better.” He gets hit with a face full of cold water. You both fuck around in the snow for a little longer, but head back in when Dave finally complains that he’s cold.

You take off your dripping shoes and socks, watching Dave stumble before pulling his boots off. You laugh, but your eyebrows raise in alarm when you see his arms.

He notices the change. “They get darker when it’s cold,” he says, sitting on the couch, pulling a blanket around himself.

“Humans are fucking weird.” You say, scooting on the couch towards him. He grabs the remote, playing the show from where you left off.

Resting your head on his shoulder, you sigh in contentment. He plays with your damp hair, rubbing little circles on your scalp. You smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im tired asfk;lfkajs


	5. Day 5: Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kk begrudgingly goes to daves party
> 
> also he SCALES A FUCKING WALL can we not talk abt that my brain is rotting

This fucking party. You swear to god, you never wanted to go. You pull up to the shitty apartment, resigned. Stuffing your hands in your pockets, you walk in. If it had been anybody else’s party, you would’ve said no. But it had to be the ever-insufferable Strider, sidling up to you and asking you to go to his house. Past you, being a bulgebrained idiot, agreed. So here you are.

You take one step inside, and frown, deciding to instead scale the wall like the immature alien beast you are. No way are you climbing all those stairs. You head to the top floor, jumping from window sill to window sill like an absolute coolkid. Strider has nothing on you. You knock on the window, and a very bewildered face stares back.

He pulls open the window, frowning. “I thought I was the only one who did that. Don’t steal my thunder, KK,” He readjusts his shades, flicking his soft blond hair out of his eyes. 

And here you were, thinking you were cool, for once. “Whatever, I need a drink.” You push past him, grabbing a red cup from the counter and filling it with a mystery juice in a large bowl. Yuck, but whatever.

“Ooh, mystery punch. Ballsy,” Dave throws an arm over your shoulder, gesturing at the room, beer in his cup sloshing. “So, what do you think?” You take a moment to actually look around, and stick your tongue out in disgust. 

There are felt puppets strewn around everywhere, and a few errant… weapons? You want no part of this. “This place is nasty, you live in this?” 

“Home sweet home, kitkat,” He flashes you a smile. “Besides, Bro is hardly home, so I can have parties like this whenever,” he says.

“What’s he do?” You ask, trying to be polite and ask people things. Kanaya would be proud. “Oh, you know… stuff.” He rubs the back of his neck, embarrassed.

“Oh? Stuff? What a fabulous line of work. I was thinking of going into stuff, but I looked into things, and it seemed like a better fit for me.” You jab, draining the last of the mystery juice and going for another.

“Dude, no, it’s… R rated. Why do you think the rooms littered in sex toys?” He looks uncomfortable, to your amusement.

“Wait, those are sex toys? Not, i don’t know, regular fucking toys?” You spit out your drink, narrowing your eyes at him. “That’s fucking nasty. Jeez, come over to my place to get a break from whatever the fuck this is,” 

“Sure, It’s a date then.” He says it with such nonchalance that you don’t think to deny it until much later, and it would be weird to bring it up again, so you don’t.

Welp. You guess it’s a date now. Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> early chapter because tmrw i will be stranded on a deserted island and im not taking my internet with me


	6. Day 6: Alternate Universe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kk falls in love with a shade-wearing kid at his work.

It’s your first day working at Legoland. You don’t know why you decided that working at a mall was a good idea, in a theme park. You hate children. Readjusting your nametag on your red polo, you frown. You work at the elevator, so all you have to do is sit in a chair and push buttons for the handful of people in there. You silently thank god that you got orientated already, doing that shit this early in the morning would probably get you fired before you even worked one shift. 

You sit in your chair, and wait. The first batch of people walk onto the elevator, and you push the button for them to fucking get out already. Shit sucks.

“Hey,” some whiny kid says, looking about nine, wearing shades even though you’re both in a dark elevator. You groan softly, because he seems to be alone. There’s only one other group on the elevator, and it’s a couple who already have a small girl in their arms. “Where are your parents?” You put your hands on your knees and crouch down, much to his amusement. 

The kid sticks his tongue out at you, smirking. “Dead, probably.” He says, leaning against the wall of the metal elevator. “Wait, what? Kid, who brought you here?” You are starting to get a fucking headache. You’re only 24, you should not have to deal with children yet.

“I brought myself here, obviously.” The kid looks so smug. “Okay, no, who the fuck raises you and feeds you and shit, Jesus!” The couple send you a glare, and you glare right back. It’s too early for this shit.

“Bro. But he hasn’t been around for a while, so. Thought I’d take a permanent vacation to this place.” He stands on his tiptoes, examining your golden nametag. “So, Karkles, what are you gonna do about it?” 

You place a palm to your face, about ready to scream or cry. “Okay, no. You’re going to go back to your brother, and I’m going to not get fired, okay?” You plead with this demon child. 

“Haha, well, I don’t know where he is, so.” He frowns, tilting his head. “And it’s Bro, not ‘my brother,’” He does air quotes, and you hiss, curling your hands into fists. You are not going to hit this kid and get fired. You are not.

“Okay, so you’re lost. He’s gotta be somewhere in the mall. Let me get my boss, he can send something over the intercom, I don’t know how this shit works.” You grab his hand, and the elevator stops, the couple getting out. You push the button for the elevator to go back up. 

“No, I mean, he hasn’t been at home for weeks, he’s not in the mall.” Oh my god. Fuck. You take in the boy’s stance, the stiff way he holds himself. Oh my god you are so fucking done you can’t keep the child you can’t- “But it’s cool, I’ve got the giant lego dudes to keep me company,” he gestures around at the elevator, at the giant lego sticker on the side of it. 

You cannot take care of a child you can’t deal with a kid you can’t- “look, just let me leave, this was a bad idea anyways,” Bluh, you’re supposed to hate kids.

“Okay, not happening, what’s your name?” You’re still holding his hand. “Dave. Dave Strider.” He starts actually studying his fucking nails. You hate this child.

“I’m gonna tell my boss, and we’re going to my place, okay?” He squints his eyes. “Kay.” He’s still holding your hand, looking around. “I think I can get free passes or a discount or something, we could go sometime,” you say, noticing how dejected he looks. 

“Sometime? What, you’re gonna just hold me hostage in your apartment or something?” 

“No, nookwhiff. I’m not letting you stay in an empty apartment.” Fuck, why can’t you talk to people. He smirks. “Buying me, huh?” This fucker.

You speak to your manager, which goes surprisingly well, considering you’re leaving spontaneously on your first day. You didn’t even get fired. Dave twiddles his thumbs, looking up at you. “Do you have any AJ?” 

What. “Who’s AJ?” He looks at you with enough disappointment to make you feel properly chastised. 

“Apple juice. Do you have any?” Fuck, you love this kid, you’ve known him for like thirty minutes and he’s so annoying, but he’s also really fucking cute.

“I might have some at home.” You walk through the mall, taking off your nametag and shoving it into your pocket.

“Are you a pedophile?” You jump, and then narrow your eyes. “What the fuck? Okay, first of all, Jesus christ, no, I’m not a pedophile. Second of all, how do you even know what a pedophile is? You’re like seven,”

“I’m eight, fuck off,” he crosses his arms, looking away from you. He pulls out a phone- he has a phone? What- and starts texting someone, like a teenager. Oh my god.

“So, who’s that? Any relative I should know about?” You hope not. You really want to keep this kid. He’s so good.

“Nah, just Rose. Telling her all about my new pedo pal,” he smirks, an expression that seems to be permanent on his face. 

“I. Am not. A pedophile!” You screech, throwing up your arms, ignoring the looks sent your way. Dave takes a pic of your rage on his phone, and you have to remind yourself to not kick him into the sun again. 

“Sure.” The kid takes more pics, and you go back to thinking he’s cute. He’s going to give you whiplash, you swear.

“Okay, let’s go to the pedophiliac's lair,” he says, and you start to correct him, but stop. “Whatever, if you keep calling me that, you won’t get any AJ.” You have leverage.

“Oh, Karks, I have my ways of getting the good stuff,” he says, his pale eyebrows arching into view above his shades. 

God, you have to adopt this kid, don’t you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so my brother suggested the legoland thing. It was his best idea for the prompt, the other two being "Karkat is a paintbrush," (he isnt a hs and didnt really know what an au was) or "Caliborn is santa claus" 
> 
> My brother is so chaotic i love him
> 
> also this chapter is kinda trashfire and i didnt really edit it but eh


	7. Day 7: Free Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this ones shit but coding pesterlogs is hard so whahwh

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] \--

CG: DID YOU KNOW THAT MEOWBEASTS HERE ARE HUGE COMPARED TO EARTHEN ONES?  
CG: LIKE, ABSOLUTELY GINORMOUS.  
CG: THEY ARE PRETTY TERRIFYING, ACTUALLY.  
TG: thats wild  
TG: cats here are fucking scary too  
TG: rose has one  
TG: thats tt btw  
TG: its dead but like  
TG: probably was pretty feisty in life idk  
CG: ARE THE OTHER ANIMALS ON EARTH SMALL?  
TG: are the animals on alternia really big  
CG: MOST OF THE ANIMALS ARE MUCH SMALLER THAN MEOWBEASTS.  
TG: just call them cats dude  
TG: much easier than mew beast  
CG: AT LEAST I DON’T PRETEND I DON’T KNOW THE EARTHEN VERSIONS. YOU CAN SEE THE CORRECTLY SPELLED VERSION OF MEOWBEAST RIGHT THERE!  
TG: where  
CG: I CAN’T SHOW YOU, IGNORAMOUS. IT’S IN THE TEXT ABOVE.   
TG: where  
TG: i cant find it  
CG: OH MY GOG. YOU’RE SUCH A PAIN-ADDLED SHITHEAD THAT YOU CAN’T SEE A WORD RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE.  
TG: wait so my brain is addled and also covered in shit  
TG: seems like you really threw my pan under the bus there  
CG: YOU USED AN ALTERNIAN TERM.  
TG: did i  
TG: where  


\--  carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling  turntechGodhead [TG] \--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe finally finished this


End file.
